My all-time favorite quote is, "Show me a man that is not full of himself and I'll show you a hungry man". I believe that I heard it from Ms. Maya Angelou.
That quote pretty much sums up how I feel about myself. Far from starving I am full to bursting and head over heels in love with myself. What others perceive as flaws I see as exclamation marks punctuating my beauty and making me standout out from the merely attractive. I have never suffered from lack of self esteem. Whether a size 10 or 16, I am still all that and a 3 piece dinner.
Now, being a Black woman in America, my hair has become something of an issue for some fairly close to me. Why? Well, I've decided that I no longer want to use chemical processes to straighten my hair. Honestly, I don't know what I want to do with it. I just know that I am sick of tired of having my hair relaxed. I am 34 years young and I feel that I am capable of making a decision about the hair that grows out of my head without commentary from everyone I come in contact with. I've worn my hair chemically relaxed for so long I no longer know what my hair texture is.
My sisters over at the Long Hair Care Forum lovingly refer to the chemical cream used to straighten the hair as "creamy crack". I think this is a fitting nickname because an overwhelming majority of Black women are addicted to this process.
Is is because we're too lazy to get educated about our own unique hair? Or have we bought into the stereotype that everything European is more beautiful and we must adopt their self image in order to be considered attractive? Either way that's just not me. If my hair grows down to my knees or I decide to shave my head bald tomorrow, in the words of Ms. India.Arie "I Am Not My Hair".
I have nothing against relaxed hair as I've worn mine this way for a number of years and it is beautiful. But now I want something different. I want texture and thickness again. Some people's word for what I want is "nappy". Well, if that's how you see it, then yes, I want nappy hair again. I no longer want my hair plastered to my head. I'm not offended by the word "nappy". There was a time when I ran from nappy hair because I had no idea what to do with it or how to care for it. I was also insulted by this word because whenever it was hurled at me, it was derogatory and meant to be hurtful.
Now, I embrace it. I know who I am and am quite comfortable with my tight, kinky coils. I often sit at work and feel my roots just to feel them spring back against my hands. I quite literally revel in this "nappy" hair now.
The women that came before me didn't need creamy crack and neither do I. I'm glad it's an option but I am equally glad that braids, bantu knots, twists and pressing combs are also at my disposal. So you do and let me do me. And remember -
I can look like anything I want from one day to the next but I am always
always
always
beautiful
beyond
description.
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14 years ago
6 comments:
I feel the need to interject that not only is "nappy" hair dangerous (you feeling your roots with your hands could be the reason the tips of your fingers are all cut up!), but it doesn't match with the other hair already on your head. At least if you're going to make a lifestyle change and nix the chemically straightened hair, start from scratch. Cut off all of the European-looking shit and expose all of that "natural" hair that you are soooooo proud of. My relaxer doesn't cause my hair to be "plastered" to my head, but at least it's an option! My advice, listen to your husband and get a relaxer again, or at least put a pressing comb to it. Damn!
Uh, rb1, I think I missed the part where you're paying for me to make a trip to the salon. So run that by me again, o.k. Pumpkin? Love ya.
I say different strokes different folks. I think now a days its all about "DOING YOU". Who cares what the next man thinks about your hair. If you want to walk around with three twigs on your stuff so be it if it makes Y.O.U happy. Thats where we all get caught up anyway doing what everyone else is doing. We need more trendsetters besides freakin celebrities they shape our view of beauty anyway. If Beyonce goes natural the whole world probably will do the same. I say BUMP the world, I'm doing ME!!!
Dueces...
Ummmm, you DO realize that they have home relaxer kits? You do not have to go to the salon to obtain this "creamy crack." I would be more than willing to help you out with that! It's all good though, we've had this perception for so long that "nappy" hair looks unkept and is unattractive. Tight rolls of hair against the nape of the neck was cause for a thorough game of the dozens, the target being whoever was bold enough to leave their house with the nappy hair. Look, whatever you decide to do with your hair, it's up to you, I'm still your girl, and like it or not, I'll continue to use my CREAMY CRACK every six weeks right on schedule!
Well, its about time. Depending on the texture of your hair. If it rolls back and give you a headache, you could be setting yourself up for some long days and lonely nights. But seriously, we can change perceptions one nappy head at a time. Look at what we did with the word n....r and baggie pants. That aint cute but some kind of way we managed to incorporate it into our culture. NO MORE PERMS. NO MORE PERMS. NO MORE PERMS.
I agree with Valencia... You just gotta DO YOU! I get concerned when woman (relaxed or natural) take it to the extreme and begin to look down on others who make different styling choices than theirs. Hair is a personal choice. Who am I to say what is best for you? I've been natural for 8 years... my sis (who's been natural for years too) recently decided to get a perm. At first I was disappointed but in the end I supported her. She's still fly, still beautiful, and still my sister. Nothing's changed but her hair... life goes on, the sun still rises and sets! It's really no biggie! Just do what's best for you! Good luck and I hope you'll keep me updated on your natural hair journey!
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