Hello all, I've just got to tell you about my ride in to work. I normally leave at 6:15 a.m. but I guess I got the Friday the 13th heebie jeebies because I just could not get it in gear. I stumbled out around 6:38 a.m. and missed my usual calm, if not downright cheery, commuters.
Instead, I was thrown into the mix with a bunch of rude, obnoxious heathens that drive like they retrieved their licenses from a Cracker Jack box and just glued on or better yet drew in a self portrait. I even looked into some of the vehicles to ascertain the demeanors of the motorists and came to the conclusion that most of these people really meant not harm. They were like me, simply late for work. A few must have been on that last tardy warning and could see the pink slip looming before their very eyes. Harried looks akin to panic attacks were plastered to their faces like death masks.
What really got my dander up, however, was when this monster mother of all SUV's attempted to damn near run me off the road because I would not let him in. Now mind you he was just entering the Beltway and I had already given the right of way to the car that proceeded him. Did this driver think the sole purpose of me getting out of bed and being on the roadway at this time of morning was to drive to this entrance ramp and put my car in park so that he and the rest of the morning traffic could have lone custody of the right hand lane????!!!! I prayed the car in front of me would not come to a sudden stop because if it had we would become instant carpoolers. The driver of this behomoth actually sped up as if to let me further know he intended to get in front of me even if he had to take out the wall to do it. Maybe that was the purpose of this person buying such a vehicle. He was accustomed to being a road bully.
Yeah? Well he'd better try it with Ms. Daisy 'cause I was having none of that! I gave him the eye and he gave it right back. We're getting closer and closer to the point of no return with every second. The car in front of me may as well have been pulling me with a hitch because I was hanging on that bumper.
At the very last second I finally heard the screech of tires that let me know I had won the battle!
Lesson for big SUV's drivers?
Everybody ain't scared of ya'll.
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3 comments:
They have classes for people like you ya know. Didnt your brother graduate with a degree in psychology. Everyone knows the one with the bigger truck always wins.Because everyone knows that everything is big in TEXAS!!!!
Yeah, Woody.. Looks like we workin with some issues here. I need to come outta retirement and charge a few sessions to get to the bottom of this..
Could it be rage repressed from childhood, re-surfacing behind the wheel, manifesting in an insatiable need for dominance and control??..
1)What triggered this rage, which lay dormant for so long? .. Fear? Panic? Feelings of inferiority?
2)Where did it come from?.. Was she bullied in school? a general disdain for rules and authority? a sinister prejudice toward male SUV drivers, stemming from a traumatic event?
3)Can it be treated and cured? (or at least controlled?)..
Will there be a return to childhood innocence, undaunted by fellow rush-hour commuters?
Will she cheerfully yield to larger vehicles, with enough politeness to make her drivers ed teacher beam with pride?
or shall she continue to blossom with enough rage to put the incredible hulk himself to shame??
Stay tuned Divas!
-Dude.
ROTFLMBAO!! Go ahead and git'er straight babe! Everybody knows your sister has long had Incredible Hulk-type anger issues, just ask her hubby!
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